The Truth About Becoming: Why We Don't Get What We Want, We Get Who We Are Being

There's a truth about creation that most people miss entirely.

We spend so much time focused on what we want—the relationship, the body, the income, the life that feels like freedom. We visualize it. We affirm it. We pray for it. We work toward it with everything we have.

And yet, so often, it remains just out of reach.

Not because we're doing something wrong. Not because we're broken or blocked or unworthy. But because we're operating from a fundamental misunderstanding about how reality actually works.

Here's what most manifestation teachings won't tell you: You don't get what you want. You get who you are being.

And until you become the energetic match for what you desire, it will always feel like you're chasing something that keeps moving further away.

The Quantum Truth About Reality

In quantum physics, there's a phenomenon called the observer effect. It reveals something profound: particles exist in a state of pure potential—a wave of infinite possibility—until the moment they're observed. Only then do they collapse into a single, specific reality.

Your consciousness doesn't just witness reality. It participates in creating it.

Every moment, you are observing—focusing your attention, your thoughts, your emotions—and in doing so, you are collapsing waves of possibility into the tangible experiences of your life. What you consistently observe, you bring into form.

But here's where most people get stuck: they observe their current reality and wonder why it doesn't change. They focus on what's missing, on the gap between where they are and where they want to be, and they inadvertently keep recreating the same experience over and over again.

Because the quantum field doesn't respond to what you want. It responds to what you are.

The Ancient Wisdom We've Forgotten

Long before quantum physicists discovered the observer effect, ancient wisdom traditions understood this same truth through different language.

In yogic philosophy, the concept of sankalpa—your deepest intention or resolve—isn't about setting a goal. It's about declaring who you are becoming. It's a recognition that transformation happens not through striving, but through embodiment.

The Hermetic principle "as within, so without" teaches that your external reality is always a perfect reflection of your internal state. Not your wishes. Not your hopes. Your actual state of being.

Buddhist teachings on dependent origination show us that everything arises from conditions. If you want a different outcome, you must become different conditions. You must shift the internal environment from which your reality emerges.

And the metaphysical Law of Correspondence tells us that our outer world mirrors our inner world with astonishing precision. When you change who you're being on the inside, your outside world reorganizes itself to match.

This isn't mysticism. This is mechanics.

The Frequency You Are, Not the Frequency You Want

Everything in this universe is energy vibrating at specific frequencies. Your thoughts carry frequency. Your emotions carry frequency. Your beliefs, your identity, your sense of self—all of it is vibration.

The Law of Vibration states that nothing rests; everything moves and vibrates at its own frequency. And the Law of Resonance—often misnamed as the Law of Attraction—tells us that like frequencies attract like frequencies.

You don't attract what you want. You attract what you are.

If you want abundance but you're operating from a frequency of lack—worrying about money, feeling stressed about bills, believing that resources are scarce—you're not a vibrational match for abundance. You're a match for more lack.

If you want a loving relationship but you're being someone who doesn't believe they're worthy of love, who feels incomplete without a partner, who's desperate for validation—you're not a match for healthy love. You're a match for relationships that reinforce those beliefs.

If you want a transformed body but you're being someone who resents their body, who feels shame when they look in the mirror, who believes change is hard—you're not a match for the body you desire. You're a match for continued struggle.

The universe doesn't hear your words. It reads your frequency.

And your frequency is determined not by what you want, but by who you are being in this moment.

Identity: The Missing Key to Transformation

This is where most manifestation work falls short. It focuses on the external—the vision board, the affirmations, the goals—without addressing the internal identity that's creating your current reality.

Your identity is the sum total of the beliefs you hold about who you are. It's the story you tell yourself about your capabilities, your worthiness, your place in the world. It's the unconscious programming running in the background of your mind, shaping every choice you make and every reality you experience.

And here's the truth: your external reality will never exceed your internal identity for long.

You can manifest a sum of money, but if your identity says "I'm someone who struggles with money," you'll find a way to lose it. You can attract a wonderful partner, but if your identity says "I'm not lovable," you'll sabotage the relationship. You can lose the weight, but if your identity says "I'm someone who can't maintain results," you'll gain it back.

Because we don't get what we want. We get who we are being.

Your identity determines your frequency. Your frequency determines what you attract. And what you attract becomes your reality.

This is why affirmations alone don't work. This is why vision boards collecting dust don't create change. This is why you can want something desperately and still not experience it.

Because wanting is not being.

Becoming the Deliberate Creator

So how do you actually create change? How do you become a deliberate creator of your reality instead of a passive recipient of circumstances?

You start by understanding that creation isn't about doing more. It's about being different.

Every moment, you are either creating by default—unconsciously repeating the same patterns, beliefs, and frequencies that have always defined you—or you are creating deliberately, by consciously choosing the identity and frequency you embody.

Deliberate creation begins with awareness. You must first see the identity you've been operating from. The beliefs you've held as truth. The frequency you've been broadcasting. The version of yourself you've been being.

Not to judge it. Not to shame yourself for it. But to recognize it clearly, so you can choose something different.

Then, you must identify the identity of the person who already has what you desire. Not superficially—not just "they have money" or "they're in a relationship"—but energetically. Who are they being? What do they believe about themselves? How do they move through the world? What frequency do they operate from?

The woman who has the body you desire doesn't hate her body. She honors it. She doesn't punish herself with restriction. She nourishes herself with love. She doesn't wait until she loses weight to feel beautiful. She feels beautiful now, and her body responds to that frequency.

The person who experiences abundance doesn't worry about money. They trust in flow. They don't operate from scarcity. They make decisions from overflow. They don't believe they have to work harder to be worthy. They know their value is inherent.

The individual living their purpose doesn't wait for permission. They claim their calling. They don't doubt their gifts. They use them freely. They don't wonder if they're good enough. They know they are here for a reason, and they show up fully.

This is not about pretending. This is not about fake-it-till-you-make-it affirmations that your nervous system rejects.

This is about genuinely shifting your identity at the deepest level. This is about becoming energetically congruent with what you desire. This is about embodying the frequency now, not waiting for the manifestation to give you permission to feel it.

Because the manifestation doesn't create the frequency. The frequency creates the manifestation.

The Bridge Between Science and Soul

When you understand quantum physics, you see that consciousness creates reality. When you understand ancient wisdom, you see that as within, so without. When you understand metaphysical law, you see that frequency determines experience.

And when you understand identity work, you see that all of these truths point to the same fundamental principle: who you are being determines what you experience.

This is the bridge between the scientific and the spiritual. Between the practical and the mystical. Between wanting and having.

Your brain's reticular activating system—the part of your neurology responsible for filtering the millions of pieces of information you encounter every day—is programmed by your identity. It shows you evidence of who you believe yourself to be. When you shift your identity, your RAS literally shows you a different reality. The same world. Different evidence.

Your nervous system holds the patterns of your identity in your body. When you've been someone who experiences stress, your nervous system is wired for stress. When you become someone who experiences peace, your nervous system begins to rewire itself through neuroplasticity. Same body. Different state.

Your energy field broadcasts the frequency of your identity into the quantum field. When you've been someone operating from lack, you magnetize experiences of lack. When you become someone operating from abundance, the field responds with abundance. Same universe. Different reflection.

This is not abstract theory. This is how creation works.

And when you learn to work with these principles deliberately—when you understand how to shift your identity, embody new frequencies, and align your entire being with the reality you desire—you stop hoping for change and start becoming it.

The Tool That Anchors Your Becoming

There is a tool that can support this work. Not a magic solution. Not a shortcut. But a daily practice that helps you stay connected to the identity you're choosing to embody.

A vision board, when created and used correctly, becomes an anchor. It's not about the pretty pictures or wishful thinking. It's about having a visual representation of the frequency you're choosing to embody, the identity you're stepping into, the version of yourself you're becoming.

Every time you look at it, you have a choice: Will I be the person who wants this? Or will I be the person who already is this?

Will I look at these images with longing and lack? Or will I look at them with the quiet knowing that this is already who I am, and my reality is simply catching up to the truth of my being?

The vision board doesn't create the change. You do. But the vision board can remind you, again and again, of who you've decided to become.

And when you pair that visual anchor with an understanding of quantum physics, ancient wisdom, metaphysical law, and identity work—when you learn the proven techniques that actually shift your frequency and rewire your being—that's when transformation stops being a hope and becomes inevitable.

An Invitation

If you're ready to stop chasing what you want and start becoming who you need to be to receive it, I'd love to guide you through this process.

On January 24th, I'm hosting Manifestation & Mimosas—a morning where we'll explore exactly how to become a deliberate creator. You'll learn the science, the wisdom, and the practical techniques that create real, lasting transformation. And you'll design a vision board that serves as an anchor to the frequency you're choosing to embody.

This isn't another vision board workshop. This is an invitation to become.

And remember…you don't get what you want. You get who you are being. So the question isn't "What do I want?" The question is "Who am I becoming?"

And the answer to that question changes everything.