How to Close the Gap Between Who You Are and Who You Need to Be

The Gap You Can Feel But Can't Name

You know what you want. You can see it clearly. Feel it in your bones.

Maybe it's the thriving practice where you're fully booked with aligned clients. Maybe it's the relationship where you're seen and valued. Maybe it's the financial freedom that lets you breathe. Maybe it's finally being recognized for your expertise.

Whatever it is, the vision is clear. You can taste it.

But there's a gap. A space between where you are and where you want to be. And no matter how much action you take, how many strategies you try, how hard you work—the gap isn't closing.

Or worse, it closes briefly and then snaps back open. You get momentum, then lose it. You make progress, then sabotage it. You step forward, then pull back.

And you can't figure out why.

Here's what I've come to understand after years of studying consciousness, working with universal principles, and guiding others through transformation:

The gap isn't about what you're doing. It's about who you're being.

And until you address that—until you shift your identity to match the reality you're calling in—the gap will remain, no matter how much effort you pour into closing it from the outside.

How Experience Actually Gets Created

Let me share something fundamental that most people don't understand about how reality works.

You are not separate from your experience. You're not a person in a world, trying to make things happen through force and effort.

You are consciousness itself, expressing as you. And your experience is being created through that consciousness—filtered through your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and most importantly, your self-concept.

One universal consciousness. Creating through you. Shaped by who you believe yourself to be.

This isn't New Age philosophy. This is how scripture, ancient wisdom, metaphysics, and neuroscience all describe the mechanism of creation—just using different language.

Scripture says: "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." (Proverbs 23:7) Not as he acts. Not as he tries. As he thinks and feels in his deepest self—that's what he becomes.

The Hermetic principle of correspondence states: "As within, so without." Your outer world reflects your inner state. Always.

Neuroscience confirms: your Reticular Activating System filters reality based on your identity. What you believe about yourself determines what you see, what you notice, what opportunities you perceive, what actions feel possible.

Quantum physics points to the observer effect: consciousness affects what's observed. Who you're being shapes what shows up.

One truth. Multiple languages.

Your experience is not happening to you. It's being created through you, based on the identity you're holding.

Which means: if you want to change your experience, you have to change your identity first.

Not the other way around.

The Mistake Most People Make

Here's where most people get stuck.

They focus on what they want. The outcome. The goal. The thing they're reaching for.

And they work really hard to make it happen. Strategy. Action. Effort. Trying to rearrange circumstances, force doors open, make things work through sheer will.

But underneath all that doing, their identity—their self-concept—hasn't shifted.

They want abundance, but they're being someone who believes money is hard.

They want to be valued, but they're being someone who doesn't believe they deserve recognition.

They want confidence, but they're being someone who's convinced they're not ready yet.

They want visibility, but they're being someone who feels safer hidden.

The doing is misaligned with the being.

And when that happens, one of two things occurs:

1. Nothing changes. You take action but it doesn't land. Opportunities don't materialize. Doors don't open. The gap remains.

2. Things change briefly, then snap back. You get momentum, make progress, start seeing results—and then unconsciously sabotage back to what feels familiar. Because the new reality doesn't match your identity, so your nervous system pulls you back to what's known.

This is what I see over and over. Capable people. Talented people. People with clear visions and strong work ethics—stuck in the gap.

Not because they're not doing enough. Because they're not being the identity that matches what they're trying to create.

The Law of Reversibility: Working Backward to Close the Gap

There's a universal principle that changes everything once you understand it. It's called the Law of Reversibility.

It states: if A creates B, then assuming B will produce A.

In other words: if being confident creates confident experiences, then embodying confidence now (before you have external proof) will create the being.

If being abundant creates experiences of abundance, then assuming the feeling and identity of abundance (even while circumstances say otherwise) will produce the abundance.

You work backward from the desired experience to the required identity.

This is the opposite of how most people operate. Most people think: "Once I have the thing, then I'll feel worthy/confident/abundant/valuable."

But that's not how consciousness works.

Consciousness creates through identity. If you wait for circumstances to change before you shift your identity, you'll wait forever. Because circumstances are the effect, not the cause.

The identity is the cause. The experience is the effect.

When you embody the identity first—when you genuinely become the person living that reality internally—the external must reorganize to match. Not might. Must. That's law.

How to Work Backward: The Identity Gap Process

So how do you actually do this? How do you work backward from desired experience to required identity?

Here's the process I teach—and practice myself constantly:

Step 1: Get Clear on the Desired Experience

Not vague. Specific.

Not "I want to be successful." But "I want to be fully booked with aligned clients at premium rates, working 4 days a week, feeling valued and excited about my work."

Not "I want abundance." But "I want financial freedom—money flowing consistently, no anxiety about bills, ability to invest in myself and give generously without depletion."

The more specific you are about the experience you want, the more clearly you can identify the identity required to live it.

Step 2: Identify the Identity of That Person

Now ask: who is the person already living that experience?

Not what are they doing (we'll get there). Who are they being?

What's their self-concept?

• What do they believe about themselves?

• What do they believe is possible?

• How do they see their own value?

• What thoughts run through their mind on a regular day?

• What feelings are present in their body?

• What assumptions do they hold about how life works for them?

Get specific. You're creating a profile of the identity that naturally creates the experience you want.

Step 3: Look Honestly at Your Current Identity

Now turn the lens on yourself.

Who are you currently being?

Not who you want to be. Not who you're trying to be. Who are you actually being right now?

What thoughts are you thinking most often? What feelings are you holding in your body? What beliefs—both conscious and unconscious—are running underneath everything?

This requires brutal honesty. No judgment, just observation.

If you want abundance but you're constantly thinking "money is tight" or "I can't afford that" or "it's always a struggle"—that's who you're being.

If you want to be valued but you're thinking "they probably won't want to pay that much" or "I should just give this away" or "who am I to charge for this"—that's who you're being.

See it clearly. Name it specifically.

Step 4: Identify the Gap

Now you can see the gap clearly.

The person living your desired reality thinks X. You're thinking Y.

They feel A. You're feeling B.

They believe this about themselves. You believe that.

That gap—that specific difference between their identity and yours—is where your work goes.

Not into forcing circumstances. Not into more strategy. Into closing the identity gap.

Step 5: Close the Gap Through Embodiment

This is where the real transformation happens.

You don't close the gap by trying harder or doing more. You close it by practicing being the identity that matches your desired reality.

You embody it now. Before the evidence shows up. Before it makes logical sense. Before anyone else can see it.

How?

Thought: You practice thinking their thoughts. When your old thought pattern arises ("I'm not ready yet"), you choose their thought ("I am capable and prepared"). Not as affirmation you're trying to believe, but as genuine shift in perspective.

Feeling: You cultivate their feelings in your body. What does confidence feel like? Abundance? Being valued? You practice generating that feeling state, not waiting for circumstances to create it for you.

Belief: You identify the unconscious beliefs blocking you and consciously choose new ones. Not "I have to prove my worth" but "I am inherently valuable." Not "success is hard" but "things flow easily for me."

Behavior: From this new identity, certain actions become natural. You price differently. Speak differently. Show up differently. Set boundaries differently. The doing aligns with the being.

You practice this daily. Multiple times a day. Until the new identity isn't something you're trying to hold—it's who you are.

Why This Works: The Mechanism

You might be wondering: how does this actually create change? Is this just positive thinking?

No. This is working with how consciousness actually creates experience.

Remember: one universal consciousness is expressing as you, filtered through your identity.

When you shift your identity, you change the filter. You're literally changing the lens through which consciousness creates your experience.

Neurologically: Your brain's Reticular Activating System filters reality based on your identity. When you genuinely shift your self-concept, your RAS starts showing you different evidence. Opportunities you couldn't see before become visible. Resources you overlooked suddenly appear. You're not creating something from nothing—you're changing what you're able to perceive.

Energetically: You're vibrational. Your identity carries a frequency. When you shift your identity, your frequency shifts. And according to universal law (Law of Attraction), you draw experiences that match your frequency. Change the frequency, change what you attract.

Behaviorally: When your identity shifts, your behavior naturally aligns. You don't have to force yourself to take "worthy" actions—they become obvious from the identity of worthiness. The doing flows from the being.

Metaphysically: The Law of Reversibility states that assuming the end state produces it. When you embody the identity of the person living your desired reality, you're working backward through the law to create it.

This isn't magical thinking. This is understanding the mechanism and working with it intentionally.

What Happens When the Gap Closes

I've watched this process unfold countless times—in my own life and in the lives of those I work with.

When you genuinely close the identity gap, when you embody the self-concept of the person living your desired reality, things start shifting.

Not all at once. Not dramatically. But unmistakably.

You notice opportunities you would have missed before.

You make decisions differently—faster, with more trust, from alignment rather than fear.

People respond to you differently. They perceive the shift in your energy even if they can't name it.

Circumstances begin reorganizing. Not because you're forcing them, but because your frequency changed and reality is responding.

Money flows more easily. Clients show up more aligned. Relationships deepen or shift. Work becomes more fulfilling.

And here's the beautiful part: it doesn't feel like you're striving anymore. It feels natural. Like you're finally being who you've always been underneath the conditioning.

Because that's exactly what's happening.

You're not becoming someone new. You're dissolving the false identity that was never true and returning to what's real.

The Work Isn't One-Time

I want to be clear about something: closing the identity gap isn't a one-time event.

It's a practice. A returning. A daily choice to embody the truth of who you're becoming rather than the familiar pattern of who you've been.

Some days it will feel easy. Natural. Obvious.

Some days the old identity will be loud, and you'll have to consciously choose the new one.

Both are normal. Both are part of the process.

The key is consistency. Every time you choose the new identity over the old one, you're strengthening that neural pathway. You're encoding the new frequency. You're making the shift more permanent.

Over time, the new identity becomes your default. Not something you're trying to hold, but who you are.

And when that happens—when the gap is closed and you're genuinely being the identity that matches your desired reality—the experience you've been reaching for becomes inevitable.

Not because you forced it. Because you aligned with it.

Where to Start

If you're reading this and recognizing yourself in the gap—seeing clearly that who you're being doesn't match what you're trying to create—here's what I want you to do:

Get specific about the desired experience. Write it down. Be clear. What do you actually want to be living?

Identify the identity required. Who is that person? What do they think, feel, believe about themselves?

Look honestly at your current identity. No judgment. Just truth. Who are you actually being right now?

Name the gap. What specific thoughts, feelings, beliefs need to shift?

That clarity alone will start the process. Because you can't shift what you can't see.

How I Can Help: The Identity Blueprint Session

If you want support in closing this gap—if you want someone who understands this work deeply to help you see clearly and create a custom roadmap—that's exactly what I offer in the Identity Blueprint Session.

In 90 minutes together, we:

Identify your specific desired experience (not vague goals, but the actual reality you want to be living)

Uncover the identity required (the self-concept, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of the person living that experience)

Reveal your current identity (the patterns, beliefs, and self-concept you're actually operating from—both conscious and unconscious)

Map the gap (the specific ways your current identity doesn't match the required identity)

Create your personalized shift plan (custom practices, I AM declarations, thought patterns, and daily embodiment work designed for your specific blocks)

You'll receive a 30-page custom Identity Blueprint document—your complete roadmap for closing the gap and embodying the identity that creates your desired experience.

This isn't generic advice. This is tailored specifically to you—your blocks, your patterns, your desired reality, your unique path to closing the gap.

I've guided countless people through this process. I've watched the shift happen when someone finally sees their identity clearly and knows exactly what needs to change.

If you're ready to stop working harder on the outside while staying the same on the inside—if you're ready to close the gap at the identity level—this session is for you.

Click the link below to learn more or to schedule your session.

Because these blueprints are custom made there is limited availability each month. If this is calling you, don't wait.

The Truth You're Ready to Live

The gap you're experiencing isn't permanent. It's not evidence that you're not meant for what you desire. It's not proof that you're lacking something. It's simply showing you where your identity hasn't caught up to your vision yet. And identity can shift. The self-concept can be updated. The filter can be changed. You have everything you need. You just need to close the gap between who you've been being and who you need to be. That's the work. That's what creates lasting transformation. Not more strategy. Not more doing. Identity shift. Being shift. Consciousness shift. When you get that right, everything else follows. I've lived it. I've taught it. I've watched it transform lives over and over. And I'm here to walk that path with you if you're ready. Let's close the gap together.

Unconditionally,

Michelle <3